How to Calm Nerves Before Speaking
Coach Jen
I’ve coached a lot of high performers. The pattern stays the same: the nerves show up right before it matters.
You’re about to speak and your body flips the “on” switch. Heart racing. Hands tense. Brain scanning for danger. You want calm, but what you really need is control.
This is my approach to calm nerves before speaking using five drills I use with Speeko clients.
You’ll walk away with a 3-minute routine you can use before meetings, pitches, interviews, and presentations.
What you’ll learn:
Reframe anxiety as excitement
Breathing to control pace
Posture for vocal control
Focus nervous energy
Slow your opening
Step 1: Reframe nerves before speaking.
I ask myself one question: What story am I telling about this sensation?
Those signals (fast heartbeat, heat, energy) can mean “panic.” They can also mean activation. Same body response. Different label.
Try this 10-second reframe (Say it out loud):
“My body is waking up.”
“This energy helps me land my first line.”
“I’m excited to make this point.”
There’s research (highlighted by Harvard Business Review and the Journal of Experimental Psychology) showing that reappraising pre-performance anxiety as excitement can improve performance compared to trying to “calm down.”
Micro-example
Old label: “I’m nervous. I’m going to stumble.”
New label: “I’m activated. I’m ready to lead.”
Step 2: Use breath to regulate your pace.
If you only do one thing, do this.
One thought = one breath.
Here’s the pattern:
Inhale.
Say one complete idea. Pause.
Inhale again.
Say the next idea.
Your pace fixes itself because your breathing becomes the metronome. Deep breathing is also a proven way to downshift the stress response.
60-second drill:
Write 3 bullets for what you need to say.
Speak each bullet on one breath.
Pause between bullets. No filler.
Step 3: Use posture to support breath and sound steadier.
Sit or stand like you plan to stay. Posture is all about mechanics.
5-second check:
Feet grounded
Spine tall
Chest open
This position supports breath, balance, and vocal control. It also reduces the urge to rush because your body reads “stable.”
Step 4: Focus the energy.
Before you speak, give the nerves a job:
Land the first sentence.
Make eye contact with one person.
Emphasize one key word.
Energy needs direction, not suppression.
Step 5: Don’t rush the opening.
Most people lose the room in the first 10 seconds by sprinting.
Slow starts signal authority. Once your first sentence lands, confidence builds.
Use this sequence:
Pause before you speak.
Begin 10–15% slower than feels natural.
Let the first sentence land.
Then pick up to your normal pace.
Strong first line:
“I’m going to be direct. Here’s what matters.”
“I’ll make this simple.”
“You’ll leave with a clear next step.”
1-minute “butterflies to presence” routine
Use this right before you go on camera or walk into the room:
20 seconds: Reframe
Say: “I’m excited.” (twice)
Choose the outcome: “I’m here to be clear.”
20 seconds: Breath pacing
Three slow breaths.
Speak 3 bullets: One idea per breath.
20 seconds: Posture + opening
Feet grounded, chest open.
Silent pause.
Deliver your first line 10–15% slower.
If you’ve got butterflies, good. You’re activated.
Final word: Stop fighting the sensation.
If you want to calm nerves before speaking, stop fighting the sensation. Label it. Breathe to set pace. Use posture to support your voice. Give the energy a job so you sound in charge.
Keep shining,
Coach Jen
🎤 Ready to turn your nerves into presence?
Practice with Speeko’s feedback tools to track your progress, or work live with one of Speeko’s expert coaches 1:1 to strengthen your presence. In your Vocal Transformation Session, you’ll work 1:1 with an expert coach to boost your confidence, clarity, and charisma. In just 45 minutes, you’ll transform how you sound and how you feel when you speak.
